When do you stop taking lessons?

The other day, someone asked me when do you stop taking lessons?  Sounds like an easy enough question.  If only.

There are a lot of reasons to stop taking lessons – money, time, fit with the teacher, and more.  Money I can’t do anything about for you, so we’ll just glide past that.   

First, let’s get time off the table and let’s separate time available and time duration.  We have to assume that you have time available – both for lessons and for practicing between lessons.  As for time duration, you can’t really expect to set a timetable.  If you’ve been playing the harp any length of time, then you already know that learning the harp is anything but a linear process.  And that some things feel easy while others feel like insurmountable obstacles.  If you haven’t been at it for long, you might still think that there’s an end – a point at which you’ll have nothing left to learn (quick hint – there is no end).  Those of us who have had more experience already know – you will always have something more to learn!

OMG – is she saying that I’ll be taking weekly lessons forever?!  No, that’s not what I’m saying.  That’s not the right question. 

The better question is: 

What are lessons for? 

There are at least four reasons for lessons:

Lessons can give you a foundation. The harp isn’t easy to play. It requires finesse and skill to play well.  A teacher in regular lessons can help you build the foundations you can grow from so that you can (eventually) play the music you are moving toward.

Lessons can help to protect you – Leon Fleischer called musicians “athletes of the small muscles” and in lessons you’ll typically learn good technique which can help protect you from injury.

Lessons can teach you a framework – We don’t make music in a vacuum and lessons can help you build your own framework from which you can develop your musicality and musicianship.

Lessons can help you learn to teach yourself – I’m going to let you in on a dirty little secret – teachers don’t want to have you in lessons forever! (for a lot of reasons)  But no teacher will want to “graduate” you until you have learned how to teach yourself.

A teacher can use the time in lessons to help you navigate the pratfalls of playing, make clear those things that are opaque, and illuminate the path so you make progress faster.

Of course, the flip side is just as important.  So another good question is:

What are lessons not for? 

There are at least four things lessons aren’t for:

Lessons are not to keep you motivated to keep playing. In the end, music is a solo pursuit. Even if you’re in a group, ensemble, band, or orchestra, there’s only you playing the harp.  Only you can motivate you to play and while lessons might contribute to your motivation, they will not act as your sole motivation.

Lessons are not to provide you with accountability. Relatedly, if you only practice because you’re afraid to look bad at a lesson, you haven’t solidified your self-accountability. Lessons won’t change that.

Lessons are not to keep feeding you music. While we expect child students to need a lot of guidance on music, adult students would have increasingly greater latitude in music selection – which would include selecting the music you want to move toward.  But you need to figure out what that is for you.

Lessons are not to prevent you from being a responsible musician. Lessons are not a substitute for thinking for yourself (ref earlier comment about teachers wanting to help you learn to teach yourself).  This goes beyond selecting music and includes analyzing the music, self-critiquing (not self-criticizing!) your playing and developing your repertoire.

What other reasons are there to take lessons? And to not take lessons?  Let me know what you think in the comments!

14 thoughts on “When do you stop taking lessons?

  1. In my experience of being a student and a teacher, learning is forever. When I first started playing the harp in 1996, I took lessons for at least 5 years with Laura Zaerr (a fantastic harpist/harper!). I took a break of lessons to practice all I had learned and to become more proficient at those things. I occasionally went back for lessons; sometimes for months, sometimes for a specific thing I wanted to learn. I also mixed it in with lessons and workshops at conferences from Kim Robertson, Sunita Stanislau, Nicolas Carter, Alfredo Ortiz, Frank Voltz and gosh, I’m sure there are others. Eventually I became a teacher and watched some of my students do the same thing. Many of them have gone on to play in a band or just be their own living room entertainment. I continue to learn things from my current students and love every minute of it. I feel like I am always growing and learning.

  2. I think what you have written is spot on, Jen. All of these thoughts have crossed my mind at one time or another during my time as a harpist and as a teacher. The best part about being a teacher is watching the students become proficient and independent. I thought in a traditional academic setting in a college for 30 years, teaching mass communication. The level of satisfaction that I got from teaching individual harp students in my living room was far greater than all those years of teaching in a formal setting.

    • Thanks Mike! You’re right that the best part of being a teacher is having a front row seat to each of our student’s growth and development and sharing in the joy of each accomplishment. I’m not sure our students know just how much enjoyment they bring us!

  3. well — I think many of us would be telling an untruth if we said that guilt/desire not to play badly for one’s teacher isn’t *something* of a motivator! And I don’t mind that — sometimes I don’t think I feel like practicing (too tired, too distracted by other things) but when I remind myself that a lesson is coming up I settle down to practice and then away I go, happy to be working at my harp. In other words, I use whatever works to get my brain to start focusing on my harp instead of something else. As to keeping on with lessons — I do find I can get very stale and stuck without a teacher, let alone fall into bad and lazy habits. One day I may be good enough at my harp to cut back on lessons, but I envisage always having an occasional lesson, participating in a workshop, etc etc forever. Something to electrify me, like using jumper cables!

    • If we’re all honest, we do worry (maybe a little) about what our teacher will think of us if we’ve not practiced as much as either we thought we would or we think they think we would! And I’m all for anything that gets us onto our benches to play – a labor of love! And I’ll get out the jumper cables Sparky! 🙂

  4. This is a keeper, Jen. Thanks. I think I’ll print a copy for my “current” binder.
    And since most of my inspiration, oddly, comes from good fiddling (as in Alasdair Fraser) now I know what I should listen to more often. No hardship there.
    ((What are lessons for? Feeling guilty because work is too frantic to allow for them… 😣. What’s that? Oh right. Stop buying tickets for guilt trips))
    Regardless about work…this article is still a great list of that it takes to BE a Harper in the first place, and why we don’t quit. I love you for that.
    And of course you know this but— Buddy Buddy Boom Buddy is also known as Domnall Dubh.
    I thought it sounded familiar. We keep coming back around to it.

    • Thank you Helen – You cannot listen too much! While you’re on fiddling Alasdairs, check out Alasdair White as well. Shameless plug – he’ll be the Fiddle Instructor at OSAS and will also be giving lectures to the harp class.

  5. My most successful students seem to stand back and ask, ‘What do I need?’ We have an ongoing conversation back and forth about progress. They mentally watch themselves practice and play, and tell me what was difficult or easy.

  6. Great post Jen-I stopped when work became too intense and I dreaded my lessons because I could no longer get up the energy to practice. After retirement I decided I really wanted to commit to being a harper so I joined the Heatherwood harp ensemble and started lessons with you.

    I’m still improving my technique and my arranging with your help, and have connected with even more wonderful musicians. Our bi-monthly lessons are perfect, and harp is a major part of my retired life😊 Thanks Jen!

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