Change the things you can and Accept the things you cannot

I really enjoy hearing from you.  Throughout the year you have reached out and shared your thoughts, your successes, your challenges, and I am so incredibly grateful that you do.

And you’ve had some doozies this year!

Broken bones and broken harps.  Sadness and loneliness as we spent the year Together Apart.  Concern that this will never end.  Tunes that refused to go into your head.  Wayward left hands that just would not cooperate.  Concern about not being able to share music with others.  Fatigue with playing.  Frustration at not making the progress you expected (or demanded of yourself).  Nervousness as gigs dried up and audiences didn’t materialize.  Fear that an injury might mean you’ll never play again.  Anxiety that your absent motivation is going to close a chapter in your life.

Yikes.

Change what you can

Change what you can, Accept what you can’t

And yet, through it all, our harps have stood at the ready (well, with the exception of the broken harp…).  Your harp can be a source of succor in an otherwise blech year – if you allow it to be.  And if you allow it to serve that role where and when you need it.  It’s a time to change the things you can and accept the things you cannot.

You cannot change your healing and recovery rate.  You cannot modify how long we are shut down, separated, enduring viruses.  These are things that you must accept.

But if you’re not very motivated to spend time at your harp, you might just need a change.  Who knows why you’re not playing or practicing?  Well, it’s likely that you do!

Sometimes you need to knuckle down and just do it.  This often feels like a nagging need that you feel rubbing you the wrong way.  Perhaps you can just push along with your harp to get past this.  Identify why you’re feeling that you don’t want to play and tease it out.  If you’re stressed and overwhelmed, or just a little discouraged, you can reset your frame.  Make a coffee date with your harp.  Rather than thinking about practicing, just promise yourself that you’ll only sit for 3 minutes and you’ll spend that time noodling.  If you need to make this completely stress free, just play pentatonic notes (set your harp to Cmaj and play only the white strings).  This is pretty easy because anything you play will sound like music.  Whatever you do, don’t force it – if getting to 3 minutes is hard, get up and walk away.  If it is relatively easy (by which I mean – if you are surprised 3 minutes went by so fast) then keep playing.  This is really just an opportunity to reconnect with your harp (and yourself).  Don’t practice, don’t work, just relax into your harp, and enjoy.   And maybe you’ll look forward to another coffee date with your harp.  Or maybe lunch?  Just go with it and see what happens. 

Or maybe your motivation is low because you haven’t really set any new goals and you are floundering.  This might be the easiest to fix!  Schedule yourself for lessons or coaching with someone who will help you define or refine your goals and help you set a path there.  Need a teacher or coach?    

More difficult are the times when you have to acknowledge that you need a break.  That you are deliberately avoiding your harp.  That you are in difficulties with your relationship.  There are loads of reasons you might need a break.  You could have set rigid expectations that you have not met.  You might be at a place in your life when you do not have the time to dedicate to this craft.  You may have become bored with the instrument, the music, the process, the activity.  You may have come to realize that you like saying you play the harp, but the reality of playing isn’t as appealing.  It can be hard to walk away – after all you’ve invested a lot of time and money.  The harp world is a delightful and comfortable place and you probably have made loads of friends as well.  So, departing could be hard, but there is no shame in finding that you just don’t want to be there anymore.

I really hope you’re not finding that you are having difficulty getting to your harp!  But, if you are, no matter which of these you might fit, the important thing is that you identify what the challenge is.   Then you can begin to move forward.  And it’s not too soon – the coming New Year is a good opportunity to reflect, define what you must accept and change what you can.

Are you a little stuck?  How is that manifesting in your harp life?  Let me know in the comments.  Need help?  Let me know – coaching can help you get where you’re going (or at least back on the path).

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