Being creative is a risky business.
Every time you sit to your harp, you are taking a risk.
Why do you think there are so few musicians (relatively) in the world? Or even more broadly, so few artists in the world? Because being a creative requires a lot of bravery. And we know that bravery is uncommon.
You probably never really think about being brave, but if you meet people as a musician and performer, it is something you hear from others –
“I don’t know how you can be so brave to get on stage – I could never do that!”
“Wow – how did you learn to play the harp? I don’t think I could – I don’t have any talent.”
Sometimes you don’t know you’re being courageous, but every time you make music, you’re flexing your creativity and your bravery! Maybe you don’t always feel brave. That’s ok – as long as you keep on making.
How are we brave?
1. We show up! It seems like such a minor thing, but there’s no dragon to slay if you don’t go to the den. When you sit at your harp (the den), you’re going to create (the dragon).
2. We keep going. One path of courage is to keep going, even when your heart is in your mouth and you can barely breathe from the anxiety of doing. Especially if you’re worried that what you make may not be good enough or if what you’re making won’t even come to be (you, know – if you fail).
3. We put on a game face – like the commercial says, “never let ‘em see you sweat!”
4. We keep on going on. Even when nothing works, we try again and again and again and again and again and again…
Why are we brave? Well, first off, being creative means you’re never really on solid ground and that’s kinda scary. Nothing is set in stone. There is no right. But we creatives are often the kind of people who get off on that shifting foundation (maybe just a little). A little uncertainty can be a wild ride! One of my favorite t-shirts says,
“If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much room!”
Ok, really, it is hard to be brave – especially day after day. So, how do we do it?
1. Fake it. Yup, pretend. Put on your game face and do the thing. Write a composition. Develop that improv. Interpret that piece like you feel it.
2. Name the monster – like anything that goes bump in the night, simply saying the names of your fears – out loud – diminishes their intimidation factor. The names are usually short – embarrassment, fear of failure, fear of success. When you say it out loud, its ridiculousness becomes apparent as it shrinks back to its appropriate size and you can laugh.
3. Keep good company. I was fortunate to have a demonstration. It was seeing my all-time harp hero have a really bad day on stage – mistakes all over the place…and a serene facial expression. Lesson learned? Fear faced down + audience ignorant and happy = successful brave performance.
4. Breathe. Yup, breathing makes everything a little easier. Especially anything that requires thinking. Breathing also helps ameliorate anxiety. Being clear headed can only help when you’re scared. So, take a breath, feel your fear recede (if only just a little bit), and forge ahead.
5. Say yes. Just do it. Dragging your feet won’t make it any easier.
6. Don’t take yourself too seriously. We’re making nusic, it’s not Rocket Surgery. No one’s going to die if you compose a poorly constructed phrase! Cities don’t go dark because you’re improv isn’t ready for prime time yet. Lighten up and enjoy making your music.
7. Perspiration. The Great One (Wayne Gretzky, not Salzedo) said it best –
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
And you’ll probably miss a high percentage of the shots you do take – do it anyway – take the shot. Do the work, face the fear, enjoy the reward.
8. Be good to you – no matter how much you push yourself, be aware of when you’re about to go too far. My rule of thumb – if it’s too mean to say it to your best friend, then don’t say it to yourself. And don’t be your own horrible stage mother. Don’t expect from yourself something you know you’re not ready to do. Be brave, not unkind or stupid.
9. Practice. Of course – my solution to everything! You’ll find it’s easier to brave if you practice doing it. And the more you practice, the easier it is.
10. Put on your cape. Even if just in your head – be your own harp hero. Be proud of all the notes you have saved from a future of never having been heard and enjoyed! You’re not just brave, you’re a superhero!
Did you know that you’re brave? If not, do you know now? Do you do any of these things? How are you brave? Do you have other ways of being brave (you know I’m always looking for more new ways to do things!)? Let me know in the comments!
A little late in chiming here, but after my last attempt in a competition years ago, I can say that I am getting braver in playing in front of others. It’s taken a while and is still ongoing, but the confidence I have gained is really due more to others and not myself. Meaning, that the harp community I have come to meet and know over the years is so kind and giving and though I still want to be better than I am, I remind myself that I am better than I was.
Sometimes, on nice days, I play my harp outside on my front porch and seeing my neighbor sitting her porch listening, I know that people like her, the listeners, are important, too. And so, like her, I aim to enjoy the playing at that moment, mistakes and all, and try not to worry so much about anything else.
You are making my day! I have been privileged to see some of your development and am so proud of you!
Fabulous! Love this Jen- wonderful words and so true! I’m definitely brave to leave singing – which I was very proficient at, and start beginning harp at age 55. Talk about a humbling experience – yikes! It took soooo looong to be even a little adept. But I ‘’put on my game face and kept going’’ and practicing of course. And it is so worth it!
It really is worth it!
i wish this much POSITIVE force had come into my life decades sooner.
my friends might be surprized to learn it, but i’m afraid a LOT. well, that gets me Nowhere, so i go ahead anyway.
interesting – now i’m OLD this has lightened up. they can’t fire me, nobody dies because of my harping…
No time like the present! And good on you for forging ahead despite being afraid because you’re right, that gets you nowhere!
Hi Jen, thank you for this good blog. You write from the perspective of a performing musician and it’s encouraging to read that even experienced performers sometimes feel nervous and somewhat uneasy to play for an audience.
For me is harp playing an activity within the safety of my own home. The only listeners are my partner and my two cats, (or I should say one, because the other one is very old and deaf, poor thing).
And with this audience everything goes perfect, I enjoy playing very much and my partner (who is a music historian) loves it when I play. But as soon as I know that someone else is listening, the neighbors when the window is open or a friend that dropped by for a cup of coffee, I just cannot play. Nothing. Even pieces that I know well… It sounds like I just started to play the harp a week ago. No bravery at all… 😟
Thank you for the kind words Patrizia! I’m delighted that you have a lovely home audience – that certainly helps. When you have a home audience, you know that they support you and that allows you to share your gift with them.
When we’re giving a gift we don’t usually get nervous. But when it’s time to go outside (or open the window!), it’s easy to forget that you are simply giving a gift to someone who is looking forward to receiving it. You are still sharing and this (now wider) audience supports you and will be so happy to receive your gift to them.
When we forget, we are not thinking about giving the gift to someone who is eager to receive it. Instead we are thinking about ourselves being embarrassed and not good enough. But it’s not about that at all and we stop giving because we’re too focused on ourselves.
I know you don’t believe me. It took me a long time to learn it myself.
But the next time you have the opportunity, take it! Start small – play for your partner and your cats (even the deaf one!) with the windows open. Keep your giving spirit and share…and your neighbor will be able to enjoy too (maybe – you can’t be sure that they will even be home!). If they are home, and if they hear, and if they say something, it will be positive. A wise harper once reminded me that people don’t go out of their way to tell you that you were terrible – people want you to know how much they appreciated you giving to them! But also remember that they have to work up the courage to talk to you to tell you that they enjoyed it! (and remember that not everyone is as brave as you, the musician are – it is scary to take a chance to tell someone you enjoyed their effort).
I hope all that helps. Try focusing out rather than in, giving rather than receiving, being you not being embarrassed and knowing that all of us are growing – people who just started learning, people who are performing, people who teach, people who listen. And be gentle with yourself – you will need time to learn this but practice helps! 🙂
Speaking of a gift… your words are a gift to me, Jen. thank you so much. You are right. I’ve asked a couple of times to my neighbors if the sound of me practicing was disturbing to them. And it was not. “Please go on, go on, it’s so relaxing…” said one. ‘Even when I’m practicing scales?’ I asked her. ‘Even then, she said’. The sound of the instrument is a gift, that is how it feels for me and probably for others as well. I will keep this in mind, because it’s not ‘me playing’, but the intrinsic beauty of the music and the sound of the strings.
I would love to meet you in real life one day. Thank you again…
I will look forward to that!
Good advice! One of your best blogs!
(*Was that me? That could have been me. I bet it was me. Ack.)
Thank you! LoL – you’re not my only harp hero 🙂