Overcoming Anxiety – Seven ways to make it through the holidays

Posted on December 5, 2018 by Jen

The upside to this time of year is that there are plenty of opportunities to perform. E-v-e-r-y-o-n-e wants harp music at the holidays. Sometimes they even expect to pay for it!

The downside to this time of year is that there are plenty of opportunities to perform. So, your anxiety may be ratcheted up, and if you’re working a lot, it might stay up there.

A little anxiety is good for you and actually improves your performance. But sometimes, it gangs up on you or you have trouble controlling it. So, how do you overcome that anxiety?

Do not deny it. There is nothing wrong with the way you are feeling. In fact, you could embrace it. What you don’t want to do is tell yourself that you shouldn’t feel anxious. If you do, you do – because you’re human! NB – I am not talking here about full blown anxiety attacks or panic attacks. These are different in that they may require you to seek help, not glib advice from me (some people actually sort of enjoy the sick-to-my-stomach-how-did-I-end-up-here feeling). If you need it, don’t deny that and seek help!
Breathe. No, really, breathe. Deep, belly breaths will help oxygenate you, improving your focus and clarity. And pushing that crowding fog back where it belongs.
Listen to yourself. Recently, just before a gig, I was feeling anxious. Way anxious. More so than is typical. A lovely, dear friend arranged for me to have a quiet space to be alone to prepare for my concert. I was so grateful! But once I got there, I found I was becoming more anxious. I kept changing my set list and fidgeting, and despite the deep breathing, I was not settling. I went back to the crowded room where the audience was gathering – and settled down immediately! No more fluttering heart or roiling stomach. I even felt at peace! For me, the final centering and calm had been on the day before, when I could clearly think about what I wanted to do. For my dear friend, that last moment’s quiet is a godsend. What works for her nearly drove me off the deep end. Know yourself and prep your way. Need 3 cups of coffee? Ok. Yoga’s your thing? Do it. Need to look your audience in the eye and get a feel for what you need to deliver? Than do that. Be you and do your thing.
Find your “why”. You said yes to the performance. Why? We all have our reasons. Know yours and keep that forefront as you perform. If you need to, write it in big letters at the top of your set list. When you get edgy – read it again.
Ridiculous and Sublime. Most of us worry about performing badly, thereby embarrassing ourselves or appearing foolish. This maybe especially true if you began playing as an adult. But here’s the thing – it’s not about you. The audience is likely to have just a few thought tracks focused on either “oooh, that’s so lovely” or “I wish I could do that”. Notice how none of it is about you – it’s all about the music. So, focus on your gift to the audience – you’re sharing, and they have agreed to partake – enjoy!
Name your fear. Anxiety can grow from fear (of performing poorly, of being foolish, etc.). But like a mushroom, your anxiety will grow best in a warm dark place (like your mind). So take time to identify – and name – your fear. If it helps, write it down and bring it into the cold light. Then write down your opinion of that fear, what you would tell your best friend if they expressed that fear, and what the worst possible outcomes of the fear might be. This will help you really face it – afraid you won’t be prepared? Schedule more practice. Afraid you’ll look foolish? See above. Lather rinse repeat (you can do this with other fears in your life as well).
Pay attention! No really. When you’re focused on how you’re feeling anxious, you are not paying attention to the right things. Pay attention to the harp, to the music, to your technique, and to your audience. That’s a lot to focus on – but it’s what’s important. What isn’t important is the random note that came out of your harp a minute ago, or that you wish you were done, or any other casual stuff that floats out of your brain. Stay present and pay attention.

But mostly, find what works for you. What works for you for overcoming your performance anxiety? Let me know in the comments.

Give it a rest!

Posted on November 7, 2018 by Jen

There are so many things we can do with our harps to make a noise – typically beautiful, but not always. And there are all the effects – from bowing the low strings to PDLT to damping to glissing – we have all kinds of ways to disturb the air and get sound.

We each spend time practicing our favorite sounds. Or those required by the score (Bernard Andres comes to mind quickly, but there are others…). We might even spend time actively seeking out new noises to make from our instruments or perfecting our technique to assure we get the effect we meant (harmonics come to mind). We work hard to get noises from our harps.

And of course, we spend a great deal of time learning to play so that we know exactly how to touch our instruments, so we get what we wanted – beautiful tone, deep, sonorous chords, compelling melodies, captivating harmonies.

But there is something else that we should practice that will enhance all this. We always let this get by us, and yet, it is often the secret sauce that really “makes” the tune. It allows the audience time to reflect. It gives you a space to think. It helps insert life into the tune. And it seems to terrify so many of us.

What is it that we’re so afraid of?

Is it a technique that is difficult to master? Nope

Is there some “signature composer” that we should have already thought of (but we haven’t)? Nope

Is it some advanced riff that only the best musicians get? Nope again.

It’s the magical, useful, and all too undervalued rest.

You know – silence.

The space b-e-t-w-e-e-n the notes. The ones you might shave in the fast tunes (which is why you end up playing faster). The ones you wish you didn’t have so many to count in ensemble. The ones that can completely make (or break) your competition air. The ones that, when used appropriately, get your audience right where you want them, in the moment, with you.

Why do you need to practice your rests? Well, mostly so you will be comfortable – with the silence. We often “clothe” ourselves in the protective wrapping of notes. We think that we will be protected if we have the notes or that we are vulnerable and exposed in the space between.

How about you turn that thinking on its head. In fact, the rests are the most free part of the melody. Rests add a strength to the harmony that the sounded notes cannot. And they give you a little bit of a breather.

You already know how to make a rest. You just don’t play (or you also damp). And you don’t play for some finite amount of time (as described by the music). You create an absence of sound. You don’t generate any sound.

Of course, as you practice a piece, you would generate a rest if required by the composer in the piece. But, there are other useful times for silences – between pieces? Under thunderous applause? When you want to get the attention of the audience?

So, how really do you get comfortable with rests? Especially the long ones. Because, contrary to popular belief, that is not time made available by the composer so you can fidget! That’s true whether it’s a 16^th rest or a thousand bars of rest in an ensemble piece. No matter how long or short, you need to wait, be quiet, and be ready, but not overeager, to come in.

Short rests are relatively easy to practice because they are a direct part of the melody. You can practice them with your metronome, just like every other element of the music.

For the longer rests, between tunes or to create a mood, here’s a suggested practice element. This can help you become more consonant with the emptiness of the rest. Use your watch (but only sparingly).

One of the most difficult things to do is to estimate how long you have been sitting, making silence. I had the opportunity to play for a meditative event. In this playing, it is important to leave a little space for thinking, praying, and contemplation. So, the rests become ever so much more important! A full minute is not too long to wait. I actually used my watch.

And learned something so important – when I had finished a tune and was waiting to begin the next, I had thought, “oh crikey, I better get going or they’re going to think I’ve fallen asleep.”

Watch check – 18 seconds. What?!? Only 18 seconds? It felt like a week.

I was aiming for 90 seconds. It felt like forever had gone by. Boy was I wrong!

After that, I start practicing estimating the amount of time that had passed since the end of the tune. (Reality check – to you the tune might end when you start to play the last chord, but to the audience, the tune ends when they can’t hear the lingering reverb any longer (or you complete your gesture) – which could be a while!)

My hack for estimating time – because it’s rude to check your watch over and over – is to sing the Birthday Song in my head. It takes about 10 seconds to sing (don’t rush it just because you’re not singing aloud). I breathe. I position (and then check) my fingers when I’m ready to play again. I don’t rush. Want to leave a minute? Sing the song six times through. To get 90 seconds sing it 9 times.

This ability to “tell time” without telling time will also make your presentation easier on your audience and on you. You can assure you leave some “breathing room” between your tunes. When you are not in a rush, you are more present which makes your music more lifelike and fuller. And what’s not to like about that?!?

So, incorporate full rests (no shaving of note value) and waiting rests (silences between) into your playing and Give it a rest! How do you make space for the silences?

What are you afraid of?

Posted on October 17, 2018 by Jen

Many of us took up the harp (or knitting, or golf, or baking, or something else) as a hobby – something we enjoy. Something that makes a pleasant way to spend time whilst also making us happy. Because these activities are fun and happifying (why yes, I did think that I had just made up that word…which made me happy, but it’s in the dictionary – it’s a real word which makes me happier still), sometimes the pleasure drives us to keep at it – allowing the activity to consume more and more of our time and other resources.

To whit
“What is the right number of harps to own?”
“One more!”

The pleasure. The fun. The happiness. The enjoyment. The drive to learn more, experience more, enjoy more – the thirst for the activity, only slaked by more of it. Ah, so sweet! Playing the harp is a most excellent hobby!

And then, someone prevails upon you to play at church, or a wedding, or a tea, or a funeral. And you agree. It’s just this one event. You’re helping someone else. You’re bringing solace, or contributing to joy, or setting an atmosphere, or creating a milieu. What fun.

And then it hits you. You’re not a performer. You’re not a pro. What have you done?!?

The safety of being an amateur falls away.

And you’re left, terrified. What will you play? Do you have enough repertoire? What if you make a mistake? W-h-y did you agree to do this?

The fear creeps in…like a freight train!

Does fear grip your joy? Does it chase away the happiness? Does the color drain from your delight?

But wait! What are you afraid of? No, really. STOP!

Identify – and name – your fears. By naming your fears (e.g. “I’ll be laughed at”, don’t name it “Harry”), you begin to hold them up to the light. To see what they actually are and to work around them. Maybe start by reminding yourself that loads of people share your fears. And no, that’s not different for you – despite you telling yourself that…just like all the other people do!

Afraid you’ll make a mistake? Some mitigations are available against this. Practice more, only play things you feel strongly confident about, create (and practice) repair points throughout the music, practice “playing through” the mistakes you make, and practice improvising on the tunes. Don’t plan to play anything shaky (do not plan to “pull it out of a hat” while performing – that very rarely goes well!). And build your program to support you – start strong, back every (relatively) weak tune with a “comforter” (a strong, well learned tune) and end strong. Practicing these things will help you feel more confident and help to fight off the fear.

Afraid you won’t be good enough? You’ll be fine – build a strong program, prepare and practice, remember it’s only one day (and that we all have good days and bad days, even your harp hero!). Remember the point of each practice session is to get a little better, stronger, more poised than the practice before. No, you’re not _____ (insert name of current harp crush), but they didn’t ask her to play their event, did they? Nope – they asked YOU! Get out of your own way and play!

Afraid of the audience? That they may laugh, or boo, or leave? Or worse, that they feel nothing. Remember that you are communicating, and they are eager to get the message! Remember too that you are giving and it is not a contest. If you intend to give, what you give will be just right to meet that intention. Also remember that while about 20% of kids (and even fewer adults) have music lessons to learn an instrument, over 80% of adults report wishing they played an instrument! They are too impressed, in awe, and/or envious to laugh or boo. [SIDE NOTE: I hope you have one of the most amazing antidotes to this – to have an audience member seek you out to tell you how much they enjoyed your music. It will make your heart swell with pleasure and pride! And before you dismiss their comments as them “just being nice”, remember this – that person so enjoyed your music that they fought their own fears to come up to you, possibly face your rejection of them(!), to share with you that you made a difference to them (sometimes effusively, sometimes haltingly) and that they are grateful. Honor that, use it build your own confidence – and DO NOT THROW IT AWAY! {Haven’t had this experience? Be patient}]

Afraid you’ll embarrass yourself? The only way to do this is to be unprepared and to not bring your best effort with you. Do the work, and don’t let the fear stop you.

What are you afraid of? Don’t be! Instead enjoy all the things you learn, feel, and share and really get into it. And don’t let fear steal your joy – just enjoy.

Do you get fearful when you sign up to perform? How do you go about getting past it? Was it worth it? Let me know in the comments!

Holiday preparation – bringing order to order

Posted on October 25, 2017 by Jen

There is no need for chaos if you have been preparing for the holidays…which begin next week! Especially for us playing events for all the winter celebrations (ok, they’re almost all actually in the autumn, but who am I to fight Madison Avenue?!). So your preparation should be nearly done.

You’ve learned new music
You’ve repolished old tunes and recyclable music
You haven’t dropped you regular repertoire
You’ve stocked and checked your gig bag (and maybe given it a trial run to be sure it works for you?)

So, what’s left to do? Well, three more things:

Make a “Day of” checklist so you don’t forget anything. Put “stupid” stuff on it. Yes, put HARP on the list – at some point you will forget to put it in the car!
Make a set list – be sure to mix up tempos, time signatures, and this time of year, mix up holiday and “regular” music – by the middle of next month your audience will be getting fatigued of “All Christmas, All the time”!
Practice your set list. This will help you get comfortable with the transitions between tunes (yes, it can be jarring to go from 4/4 to 6/8 so practice that so you can do it smoothly). This will also help you find what is not working well. Record it to hear what the audience will experience. And revise as needed. Also practice breathing, at least between tunes and adding a little space (for both background and feature gigs – silence adds a lot to the rest of the sounds you’re making!).

With all this, you’ll be ready – Holidays will start as the last “ding-dong, Trick or Treat” fades out – be ready!

Holiday Preparation – it’s in the Planner!

Posted on October 18, 2017 by Jen

I have a terrible time keeping track of calendar events. I have an electronic calendar but I really rely on my old fashioned paper planner. And on more than one occasion, that planner has saved me from making mistakes. No matter what the form, having a planner just helps us feel more organized. With the holidays rapidly approaching, what should you put in your planner to be ready for holiday events?

Here’s what I have in mine:

The contract
An Event Questionnaire (that makes sure I ask all the right questions – where? what? When? Who? Anything special or specific)
A “Countdown” to the event (especially important if I have to learn a specific piece of music for the event)
Reminders
Other activities (when to write the set list, when to touch base with the event point of contact, when to receive the balance due, etc.)
“Stuff of life” (don’t offer to help move furniture or do other heavy lifting the day before a big gig!)

All of this helps to contain stress, manage expectations, be prepared, be professional, and stay pulled together. With the holidays right ‘round the corner, your planner can help you stay sane, focused and calm – just what clients expect!

Holiday Prep is in the Bag!

Posted on October 11, 2017 by Jen

Many of you have asked me what I carry in my gig bag – especially since you’ve never seen it.

You’ve never seen it because it doesn’t exist! It’s not that I don’t prepare to go – it’s that I have a minimal bag and I keep everything in the pocket of my case.

But, let’s think about what you should carry – even if your gig is playing for your cat. It bears thinking about where you are playing, what the event is, and your level of comfort. I do have a small gig bag because I don’t typically take a lot of things many other people consider essential.

I have all my music in my head so I don’t carry a binder of music or an ipad – just a sheet of paper with a list of tunes (and sometimes lever settings, if I’m feeling less confident). I also carry:

Strings
Tuner (electronic and fork)
Tuning key
Event Contract/information
Amp+cables (if needed – see event and venue above).

Others are more comfortable knowing that they have everything they need, no matter the circumstance. One of my closest friends has a tool bag – it’s the size of a roll aboard suitcase! But it has everything she needs. She plays a very different repertoire and has had a lot of experience (which is code for bad stuff happening). So her bag includes all of those things as well as:

Back up tuner
Batteries (for tuner)
Stand lamp
Backup stand lamp
Music binder
Backup music binder
Clothes pins (for windy days)
Headband, barrettes, hair elastics (also for windy days)
Extension cord
Multi-plug surge protector
Make up
Folding music stand (back up to the Manhassett which doesn’t fit into the bag)
Tuning key
Spare tuning key
Umbrella
Tarp
Note pad

And we both also bring:

Business Cards
Snacks
Water Bottle
Shoes (it’s hard to haul your harp in shoes that are appropriate for the event)

We each look at the other’s gig bag and laugh. But our solutions work. Hopefully they give you a good start on deciding what you should carry in yours for the Holiday Season…something that helps you feel settled and ready for each time you play.

Is it a Maybe?

Posted on September 21, 2017 by Jen

So, here we are, about ¾ of the way through the year. Everyone’s back to school and the holidays are fast approaching. By now, hopefully, you’ve sorted out your yes’s and no’s. The next question is do you have your maybe’s?

Perhaps the biggest maybe at this time of year is related to the goals you set for yourself. So maybe it is a good time to review them. How are you coming? Do you need to tweak any? Do you know?

This is where that journal comes in handy – it’s a good time to review your notes to see if you are getting where you wanted to go. If not, can you see what you need to work on? Do you need to:

Rededicate your practice time
Actually practice
Reprioritize your practice time
Actively schedule elements of practice
Review your goals to make sure they are realistic for your real life
Examine your journal to have a better idea how it’s going so you can continue to meet your goals

Are you getting there? Maybe part of the way? Maybe isn’t bad at all – as long as you mean it!

Just Say NO!

Posted on September 14, 2017 by Jen

After at least a week of saying “Yes!” perhaps it’s also time to start saying “NO!”

No can be so negative but sometimes it’s the best answer to allow you to hang onto your sanity! Or to make progress toward your goals. I will always encourage you to stretch – to do things that are a little scary or uncomfortable. This is because typically these things only l-o-o-k scary but are actually a lot of fun once you break through.

But some things are scary for good reason. They are better avoided – a stretch piece that is a huge stretch, a stretch piece with an unreasonable or unrealistic deadline, something you just really do not want to do (or don’t agree with doing), something that will just add the straw that broke the camel’s back to your schedule.

Here are some things it might be helpful to say “NO!” to:

Weddings – if you don’t like to be stressed, don’t book weddings! Only do them if you feel confident – otherwise they will chip away at your confidence and possibly your self-esteem.
Short notice gigs – if you don’t have regular practice time in on your repertoire, you will not be ready at the drop of a hat. So don’t do that to yourself. Only book gigs for which you can be confidently and competently prepared.
Music you’re not interested in – now, I’m not saying don’t experience new things but this music is also typically music you don’t know (so you won’t have tricks up your sleeve for dealing with not being rock solid on the tunes). Or it’s music you haven’t worked with (so you’re likely not solid and confident). And this is often coupled with short notice and/or weddings!
Only playing for the cat and the curtains – Get over yourself! No one plays perfectly and you never will either. The only way to get better at playing for people is to do it. You know – to practice doing it by doing it. The longer you put it off, the more you tell yourself you’ll do it later, the harder it will get. So get out there.

Say no to anything that will require more preparation than you will be able to devote. If you are only able to practice 30 minutes a day, don’t even think you’ll be able to take on a challenge and succeed (Carol of the Bells from scratch in 2 weeks? Ha, don’t even). You will be stressed and unprepared and miserable.

Practice saying No at the right times so you are ready to say Yes as appropriate. And if you’re knocking yourself down (over these or anything else) – Definitely Just Say No!

Just say “Yes!”

Posted on September 7, 2017 by Jen

Music can open so many doors. People are genuinely interested in how we make music – our instrument, ourselves, our repertoire. And we should be honest – making music is a rare gift. We are very fortunate. Did you know that a Gallup poll indicated that 96% of adults surveyed thought music could be learned at any age? Perhaps more surprising, a whopping 85% of adults wish they had had music lessons as a child! And 70% stated that they’d like to learn to play an instrument. Further, 66% stated that there were too many impediments to learning to play*. And only 5% of adults are proactive and arrange to have music lessons in their own lives**.

That makes those of us who took up the harp as adults a rare breed! And whether we were trained in music as children or came to our instruments as adults – we are making music and we are extraordinary!

You may not feel special. You may not feel accomplished. You maybe still comparing yourself to others and therefore maybe unwilling to share your music. But maybe it’s time for you to just say Yes.

Yes – to those people who visit you and ask you to play for them.

Yes – to going into schools to share your instrument and your talent with young people who might not otherwise ever see or hear a harp – and certainly are unlikely to ever get to touch one!

Yes – to volunteering to play at a local care home on a regular basis.

Yes – to your local church or civic gathering.

Mostly, say Yes to yourself – Yes, I am a musician who is continuing to grow and Yes I will share with others. Yes I will commit to investing in myself and my practice.

Just Say Yes to plucking up the courage to do more with my harp!

* https://www.namm.org/news/press-releases/new-gallup-survey-namm-reflects-majority-americans%20
** https://gb.abrsm.org/en/making-music/4-the-statistics/

Harpa 2017 is a wrap!

Posted on May 31, 2017 by Jen

We are now all back from our Harpa trip to Scotland! We had a great time – over and over again.

We went to St. Andrews, seeing the Castle, Cathedral and the town and then through Glen Coe and on to Fort William.

While in Fort William we rehearsed and raised over £70 for Great Ormond Street Hospital for children!

We spent two amazing nights on Skye at the Sconser Lodge continuing our preparations and seeing beautiful, breathtaking Skye. And jamming…

From there we went down to Ayrshire and spent a lovely time at the Lodge at Dumfries House where we also played our first concert with special guest and resident harpist – Meredith McCrindle. Proceeds went to the Prince’s Trust.

We visited Glasgow, the Kelpies, Rosslyn Chapel, and more of the Ayrshire area. After getting a delightful tour of the Robert Burns Birthplace Museum from the Curator, Sean McGlashan, we played a concert there as well!

We spent two nights in Moniaive, arranged by Wendy Stewart. We played with our guests Dumfries and Galloway Branch of the Clarsach Society and Wendy, raising money both for the Branch and for the venue – the Mill on Fleet.

We returned to Ayrshire and our final concert at Culzean Castle – a lovely all day “progressive concert” with some subset of us performing throughout the day, raising money for Ayr Hospice.

Throughout our trip we were collecting fun times and continued documentation of the lands of tiny sinks as well as a relatively thorough exploration of available hot chocolates across Scotland!

As a group and as individuals we enjoyed our vacation, had a blast performing to raise money for charities, and getting to meet and know people. We can hardly wait for next time!

If you’d like to see more of our photos, and keep up to date with us as we plan the next one, visit, Like, and Follow us on facebook.

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